Search Results for: dementia

The Kindness Project

May15
The Kindness Project

The Kindness Project

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Kindness Project

Deborah Abela

Puffin, 2024

338pp., pbk., RRP $A16.99

9781761340185

Nicolette’s favourite time of the day is when she visits her grandmother in “Alcatraz” – the local nursing home – each afternoon and together they complete a jigsaw, every piece fitting perfectly with its neighbour, just like Nanna and Nicolette.  Because Nicolette is a loner and a worrier and believes that her copy of the how-to-make-friends manual either got lost in the post or given to someone else.  School is a misery, for although she loves her teacher Ms Skye, she has to deal daily with DJ the bully who has always called her “knickers” and Layla, perfect, pretty but condescending and who apparently snubbed Nicolette’s birthday years ago and it still hurts.  

When a new boy with a weird name, peastick legs and oversized glasses comes to school – a boy with an amazing talent for drawing and creating stories about superheroes – tiny, tender tendrils of friendship twine them together, giving Nicolette a little bit of hope.  But then Ms Skye announces The Kindness Project and deliberately pairs the four children together, which has to be a recipe for disaster. Or is it?  

When Nicolette and Nanna bust out of Alcatraz for a day at the beach there are consequences far more wide-reaching than the police searching for them, particularly when Nicolette’s mum bans Nanna and Nicolette from seeing each other… consequences that open eyes, minds, hearts and doors for more than just the four children.

Written as a verse novel where every word is devoted to the who and their here-and-now, the choice of language is sublime and with clever use of fonts    and formatting that enhances the reader’s understanding of Nicolette’s emotions, this is one that moved me to tears as I binge-read it early one morning, and not just because of the story itself.  If we ever needed a reminder to not judge a book by its cover, to look beyond the behaviour to the circumstances driving it, for the story behind the story, then this is it.  Dealing with  issues like a grandparent with dementia, a mum with a mental illness, divorce and dealing with new parents and siblings, parents absent because of work deployments, over-the-top anxiety and feeling isolated if not abandoned,  the author has not shied away from exposing the real-life concerns that confront our students daily, and thus, the stories within the stories will resonate with many of our students – some of whom who will relate directly to the characters’ situations, others who might rethink their own words and actions.  

But it not only demands that we think about what is happening in the lives of our friends (and students) but also sheds light on the stories of those behind them.  While Nicolette may be having to come to terms with a grandmother who can no longer look after herself safely, that grandmother wasn’t always that way – she has her own backstory that guides her to guiding Nicolette; Leaf’s mum doesn’t spend every day in hospital receiving treatment for schizophrenia, DJ’s dad has made choices for altruistic reasons that a young DJ can’t yet understand. – and thus they, too have a voice in a world that seldom hears them talking.

Ms Skye sets the class The Kindness Project as a “way to change the world” and while Nicolette and her classmates are sceptical, Ms Skye assures them that “big changes come from small beginnings”.  And so it could be with this book.  One story shared could become the catalyst for so many more. 

Mama’s Chickens

Mar12
Mama’s Chickens

Mama’s Chickens

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mama’s Chickens

Michelle Worthington

Nicky Johnston

EK Books, 2023

32pp., hbk., RRP $A24.99

9781922539458

“What happens when a couple of kids and their mother, who has early-onset dementia, welcome some backyard chickens into their lives? “

This is the tagline used by the publisher on the website but the real story of this story is found in the back story of the book, found in the teachers’ notes  and the media release.

While there are some books addressing the impact of dementia on young children’s lives, they mostly focus on the child’s grandparents, yet 28 000 of Australians living with dementia today are mothers under the age of 50 with children at home, the author being one of them.  And so the chances are that there is someone amongst the school’s students who is having to face the challenges of a mum who doesn’t act like herself anymore, forgetting who they are and all the other symptoms that come with the disease, including getting cranky to the point of frightening the little ones.

Told from the perspective of one of her children, this is a sensitive, gentle book that explores the impact of the condition as more and more the children have to become their mother’s carers.  The chickens, imbued with personality through both words and pictures, add a lightness to what could have become a sad, depressing story but is actually one full of love, understanding and support both for the children, their mum and the reader who might be relating more closely than we realise.

I have often praised the editors at EK Books for being brave to tread a path that others don’t, by publishing books that lift the lid on tricky issues that affect our children, and this is no exception.  While, as teachers, we like to think we know and understand the out-of-school issues that our students are facing, it is books like this that give us so much more insight so we can better understand, as well as opening up the topic for the child’s peers to gain a glimpse into what might be happening in their friend’s life.  How do you explain that your mate’s mum might not remember you from one day to the next, when she is having trouble remembering her own children.  But the one thing that permeates both the book and the reality, is that undying, unconditional love between parent and child that can never be underestimated or overestimated- and if that is the only message a young reader takes from this, then job done and done well, Michelle Worthington.

 

Walking Grandma Home

Jan21
Walking Grandma Home

Walking Grandma Home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walking Grandma Home

Nancy Bo Flood

Ellen Shi

Zonderkidz, 2023

32pp., hbk., RRP $A24.99

9780310771241

When Grandma tells Lee she will soon be “going home,” Lee is confused. Isn’t Grandma already home But as Grandma’s health gets worse and her death approaches, Lee learns what it means to “walk Grandma home” to heaven, while also reflecting on his good memories and dealing with his grief alongside his extended family. 

Written by a child psychologist and counsellor this is a touching and relatable story about a young boy’s grief to help young children  understand what it means to lose a loved one and how to process their own emotions of fear, grief, and joyful remembrance.  It includes a page that explains the child’s perspective to help parents and caregivers to process the child’s emotions in a healthy and loving way and personalise the story to the child’s own experience.  

Sadly, this is a situation that many of our young ones face -just this week there was a request for suggestions for titles for a child who was angry that her grandfather was in a wheelchair and succumbing to dementia when her friends’ grandparents weren’t – and thus any books like this that can be added to our collections to help ease and explain the situation have to be welcome. And while each incidence is unique and can be overwhelming for the child involved, perhaps being able to read such stories and have their experience and emotions validated will help a little. 

 

Dancing with Memories

Aug2
Dancing with Memories

Dancing with Memories

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dancing with Memories

Sally Yule, Maggie Beer & Prof. Ralph Martins 

Cheryl Orsini

ABC Books, 2022

32pp., hbk., RRP $A24.99

9780733342578

I am Lucy and I dance with memories.
Sometimes I remember.
Sometimes I forget.
Sometimes I remember that I forget.
Sometimes I forget that I remember…
My doctor says I have dementia.
I wish I didn’t but I do.
‘Your brain has changed’, she says, ‘but you are still Lucy.’
She knows that I have a brain AND a heart.

Sometimes Lucy remembers that she forgets, and sometimes she forgets that she remembers. But even if her memory plays tricks, she still has all the love in her heart for the people and activities she has always enjoyed.  On this particularly important day, the day of her granddaughter’s wedding, she is determined to get to the wedding on her own even though her daughter has left her a note telling Lucy she will pick her up.  But things go a little astray and she ends up lost….

As grandparents and great-grandparents live longer, more and more of our students are coming into contact with those with dementia and so this is an important book to have on hand to help them understand and cope with the condition. The author, Sally Yule, has been working with people with dementia, including her own parents, for over 30 years and as she says, her main purpose was to help children “learn the role they can play supporting people living with dementia in their family or community.”  Lucy’s story and the lively illustrations which accompany it demonstrate that there is still plenty of love and joy in a patient’s  life even if the memory is muddled, and that the person deserves the same respect and dignity as well as being able to continue to do the things they can for themselves, regardless.  

As well as the story itself, Professor Ralph Martins, Foundation Chair in Ageing and Alzheimer’s Disease at Edith Cowan University WA, and Professor of Neurobiology at Macquarie University NSW has contributed a Q & A that helps anyone understand the disease. In my opinion, the core message of this story is summed up in this one paragraph…

Q. Is someone with dementia still the same person on the inside, even though they act differently on the outside?

A. Yes, they are definitely the same person inside.  They can feel so much, even if they cannot tell you about it…

While there is not yet a cure for dementia, scientists are working towards discovering its cause, and, as with many diseases, a healthy diet is always a good start so Maggie Beer’s recipes for healthy lunchboxes that could be shared between child and patient add another dimension and there are some simple teachers’ notes that can offer suggestions for supporting those we know who are living with the illness. 

There is more and more evidence that intergenerational relationships offer so much to all involved, and this is yet another essential addition to the collection to not only promote this but encourage them. 

 

Phyllis & Grace

Jul2
Phyllis & Grace

Phyllis & Grace

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phyllis & Grace

Nigel Gray

Bethan Welby

Scallywag Press, 2022

32pp., hbk., RRP $A24.99

9781912650514

Phyllis and Grace live next door to each other, and Grace like to take Phyllis little gifts like a slice of cake Mum has baked, or biscuits she has baked herself.  Phyllis is always grateful and invites her in, even though she doesn’t always remember Grace’s name or even her own…

This is a delightful story that is being replicated in many communities and families as the Baby Boomers move into senior citizenship and choose to stay in their own homes rather than “being a burden” on family.  Not only does it echo the difficulties faced as their independence declines, but it reflects the rewarding relationships that children and older people can share.  Grace sees Phyllis through the clear lens of a child, accepting her for het she is in the moment and responding to the moment, rather than getting impatient and frustrated as some adults do because they wish the old “Phyllis” who was sharp-thinking and focused was still there.

Grace’s visits give Phyllis the connections she needs, not just with her immediate community but also those she has known before, bringing back the memories of childhood in a gentle way,. Even when Phyllis can no longer live on her own, encouraged by her parents who clearly see this as a friendship that is as important for Grace as it is for Phyllis, Grace continues to visit, meeting Phyllis’s son and learning that this old lady is more than her dementia; that there is so much more to her than an illness or disability.

With soft illustrations as sensitive as the story, this is one to not only help little ones understand dementia better, but also to help them understand that whatever a person’s illness or disability, they are more than that with a rich life to share or dreams and wishes to fulfil.  While their condition might shape their life in the now, there is so much more that was and will be in the sufferer’s story. And that should be our focus as friends.

The Beast of Hushing Wood

Oct5
The Beast of Hushing Wood

The Beast of Hushing Wood

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Beast of Hushing Wood

Gabrielle Wang

Puffin, 2017

192pp., pbk., RRP $A16.99

9780143309178

For the close-knit residents of Dell Hollow, Hushing Wood is dark and sinister but for nearly-12 year old Ziggy it wraps itself around the town like a sleeping cat, protecting it from the outside world – not that there are any towns or villages anywhere nearby  Lately though, since her dad left because no matter how long they live there, “foreigners” are still outsiders,  its reputation seems to be coming true as strange things seem to be happening, not the least of which is the recurring nightmare that Ziggy has that has convinced her she is going to drown on her 12th birthday. A place that has offered her solace and comfort now seems menacing and unfamiliar.

So when Raffi Tazi begins at the school, the first new student there ever, not only is he an outsider but he has black wavy hair and skin the colour of burned butter, very different from the Dell Hollow norm of fair skin and light hair.  And instead of wearing his shirt tucked into his belted pants, he wears a loose white cotton shirt that hangs over baggy trousers.  Fodder indeed for the narrow minds of the town, particularly class bully Harry Arnold. So is he friend or foe? How does his arrival coincide with the strange happenings and appearances that Ziggy experiences?

A mixture of mystery, magic, and adventure this is an imaginative tale that will appeal to  independent upper primary readers who are starting to be aware of themselves and their place in the world and perhaps experiencing a little insecurity at the changes happening within and without.  Even Grandpa who has been Ziggy’s rock for so long can not help as he is sliding into dementia and although there is a hint that Hushing Wood used to be different, his memories are muddled and so Ziggy must find her own path to understanding and acceptance .

An intriguing read that will resonate long after the last page is read.

 

 

 

Do You Remember?

Jul22
Do You Remember?

Do You Remember?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you remember?

Kelly O’Gara and Anna McNeil

Wombat Books, 2015

hbk, 32pp., RRP $A24.99

9781925139242

 

“Do you remember how much we loved each other?” is a strange way to start a story because you would think that two talking to each other would not forget that.  But it is the perfect beginning for this gentle, insightful reflection of that special relationship between grandparent and grandchild.  Beautifully and softly illustrated using mice as characters, it explores a situation that so many of our students are facing as their grandparents and great-grandparents get older and forgetfulness and dementia start to take over. 

“Do you remember when you started hiding things in strange places?”  Do you remember when you flooded your house?”  “Do you remember when you were cross?…You’d never spoken to me like that before. Did I do something wrong?” Such a common experience for so many, but this story has a beautiful twist. Because while Grandma Mouse can’t remember, Grandchild can and so she starts to paint pictures of Grandma’s stories so that even if Grandma has forgotten, the memories won’t be lost entirely.  As gradually the grandchild becomes the ‘adult’ it doesn’t really matter that Grandma can’t remember because they create new memories and the love that binds them together is the strongest memory of all. 

When memory fades to the point where even a child is not recognised, it can be very confronting and difficult to cope with as an adult who understands what is happening on an intellectual level if not an emotional one. Thus it is even more difficult for a child who interprets the loss as personal rejection and banishment and even lack of love.  Sharing Do You Remember? would be a wonderful way for a parent to help a child understand what is happening and the pointers about what dementia is and how a child can interact with the sufferer regardless are so useful.  Little children often fear those who are ageing, especially when they have to move into assisted care and sometimes the visits stop and the relationship wanes –but this book which also gives guidance for parents about how to handle the situation could be the pathway to keeping the love flowing.  Helping our children understand by being upfront with them is the greatest gift we can give them and their grandparents. 

Speaking from personal experience based on my own grandchildren and their Great Gran, O’Gara and McNeil have nailed it.